Thursday, November 3, 2011

I am a Social Creature

I can't eat or talk without pain! Yet I still try to do both. One is for survival but really both are for survival. I am a social creature and didn't realize how much until you told me I wouldn't be able to talk.

So I am practicing silence. It is interesting how others respond to my silence.

Car rides. Margaret and I do quite a number of car rides together. It is amazing how quiet it can get. Usually we are pretty verbal. Not lately. Though what has begun to happen is she anticipates what I am going to say or ask and responds.

People in public places. It is amazing how many people speak to me in public places. And how empty it feels when I answer back with only a smile. Do they notice? Or is it just me that notices.

At home. I can hear so much more now that I am silent. I never realized how loud the clock ticks. And how one can hear the washer in the basement. Or just notice the beauty of the silence.

I hate it when people say, "well I will leave you now so you don't have to talk" They think they are doing me a favor. I want to scream, "No, You don't understand. It isn't what I want. I want to talk. I want to communicate with you. It is important to me. But I can't."

I am a social being.

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