Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dear God, I need another miracle

I sit here thinking back to all the times you intervened and gave me a reprieve in my TN. There are many. 
Niagara Falls - It had been a long day and I was sure I wouldn't be able to eat dinner. We sent the kids into the restaurant and Bob prayed for me. Instantly the pain was gone. 
Healing Service - I knew You told me to go. We went. People prayed and for a year no pain.
Chiropractor - Night after night horrible pain. We went to a chiropractor. The next day the pain was minimal. 
Another prayer time at church and my prayer was lessened greatly.
You gave me a neurologist. 
Another year with out pain.
And You are always there in the midst of it. Holding me. Teaching me. Reminding me of the pain You went through for me. Often I wonder, is this what the thorns in your head felt like when they dug down deep. Or the nails in your hands and feet. I understand a little what You went through. Just a little. It makes me love You more.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Me and My Hero
I believe in having heroes, or should I say I have heroes. There are those heroes that one really doesn't know but has read about or seen their lives depicted in movies. Their lives emulate characteristics that one values. And then there are personal heroes. I think everyone should have at least one personal hero.
I have one. He always saves the day! He is one of those heroes that no matter the problem he has a solution. And when there isn't a solution he just holds me. He is one of those kind of heroes that makes me feel like I am the most important thing on earth. But he is not a hero that lets me just whimp out. He challenges me to do what I can. Yet at the same time he seems to know exactly when enough is enough!
He has his own sayings that come out time and time again. Like, "look I just happen to have some extra money set aside for that." or "I got an idea" or "just do the best you can do'.
He also knows what will make me laugh. Things just between us. They work every time though.
As I would say, "he can stay"

Wednesday, October 12, 2011


I have a friend that no matter how long it has been since we last talked, when I pick up the phone and call her it is liked we never stopped. She is one of the few friends I have who challenges me to keep the right perspective.
She also owns a Vitamix.
To those of you who aren't sure what a Vitamix is let me tell you. It is a super duper blender that can pulverize anything. Which right now is most needful. My TN has confiscated the inside of my mouth. Every nerve on my upper right gum line feels like it is on fire. Even chewing on my good side (which really isn't a good side because I am missing a tooth) causes the pain to escalate! For awhile I was trying to get by on protein drink and soft foods. But hunger reared its head way too often. I have a juicer but I knew that I needed the fiber to make me feel full. All I did was call her up, and its been awhile since I have called her, and she lends me her Vitamix. I feel loved.
Today I had
Creamed Chicken Barley Soup
(very creamed because of the barley)
Carrot Apple Celery Slurry
and a staple of
Greek Yogurt

I think I need to work with the blender more to get the right consistency of things. But I am encouraged! I bought some pineapple, lemons, apples, bananas, squash, beets, oranges and lots more carrots! Gonna try Borscht for the first time. YUM!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Unwanted Guest

I remember the day when I first became acquainted with my unwanted guest. I was in the shower and I needed to blow my nose. Easy enough, except after drying my hands to keep from destroying the tissue with water instead of a satisfying nose blow - PAIN. It lasted a second and in retrospect it wasn't all that bad, but "Hello Friend!" And my unwanted guest was here for a very long stay. My first season of pain lasted about nine months. The pain was tolerable and I was willing to wait for my body to heal itself from whatever this was going on. Nine years later the pain and duration have increased greatly. Now my guest is a seemingly permanent resident, not willing to leave. He wants to be in charge, dictating how I live my life. I fight him sometimes with more success than other times, but I am still fighting. So I am asking you dear reader to join me in this fight. Maybe you know me and maybe you don't. Maybe you have your own fight and its just good to know there is someone else fighting. Or maybe you do know me and would just like to have a better understanding of me, of what I am thinking, or of what this is all about. For me... sometimes I want to explode because this is so much a part of me and I need a way to get it out. So if writing here allows me an escape, then I am thankful.